May 7, 2009  Where Have I Been....Goin' to Texas
 
To tell the truth, I never had any intention of neglecting this site or holiday emails and cards to special friends during this 5 month hiatus. I also didn’t have any intention of going through the events that have transpired between my November post and now (the December post was a filler while I awaited more information). And, I am pleased to note that I have neither been incarcerated nor dead during this interval (my British pal, Peter, feared the latter while those who have known me stateside were convinced of the former).
 

 
The chronology goes something like this....
 
November 2008 through early December 2008....Medical Woes
 
The chief cardio doc put me on some costly meds....again. Seems I'd developed a heart condition called atrial fibrillation, shared with 2 million other Americans including Howie Mandel. The cheap blood thinner, warfarin, was one of my meds used to prevent a possible free blot clot from working its way to an important part of my body. The doc's concept of "important part" was considerably different than mine. The probability of an occurrence was partially determined by extremely expensive and frequent protime tests (protime, or, Prothombin Time analysis provides a scalable factor for blood-clotting capability). The other meds expense was a plan worked out between my doc and the pharmaceutical companies so that I could contribute to their bail out plans.
 
This was all done in preparation to sending me to the hospital to get drugged and then zapped with those electrical paddles to get my heart back into rhythm. And, second prize (if the first zaps didn't work) is a pacemaker and a lifetime (?) supply of batteries.
 
Based on the protime results, the doc would know when I was ready to be forced into the hospital, subject to Frankenstienian experimentation. For weeks nurses (over-) reacted to the numbers sent in by the protime tests since my system seemed to have an inertia that was slow to respond to dosage changes. I actually hit a reading of 6.0 which was dangerously high (normal max being 3.0). Had this been mosquito season a single bite would've resulted in a gusher. One nurse called me, trying to disguise her concern, and suggested that I really shouldn't shave with a razor or use a sharp knife in the kitchen, use power tools, don't run with scissors and, maybe, I should stay in bed for a few days.....
 
It was with trepidation that I entered the doc's office after 6 weeks of yoyo-ing through the pro time scale. My numbers had been stabilized to such a degree that I could be sent the hospital to be turned over to a bunch of interns who had probably been binge drinking and swapping prescription pads at a party the night before.
 
As my mind raced through the permutations and decisions of enduring the much dreaded hospital stays... should I go into the hospital in Wausau where I knew a few doctors, but where I'd also miss Christmas with the family, or, should I trust luck and submit to the tortures awaiting me by the foreign-trained blood-letters down Texas way? You know the ones I mean. They get their High School diploma and their M.D. certificate on the same day. At least, there in Texas the family would be close for the services...
 
Brain fog continued while I overloaded on options to consider when, from the corner of my eye I noticed to doc behaving strangely, at least by doc's standards. He mumbled something about running another test, and, since I didn't get a good read on doc's confused expression, my brain rapidly began eliminating the good options.
 
In a few moments a nurse wheeled in a small machine with over twenty tentacles (electrode leads) and a very expensive appearance. They've made huge improvements in EKG machines, including shrinking everything but the cost to the patient for 20-odd disposable sticky electrode patches, 18 inches of graph paper, 1 plastic disposable razor to remove body hair and 6 minutes of battery time. The cost to the patient, including the opinion of a never-seen interpreter* of EKG squiggles still tops $1000.00 (*note: my doc and nurse immediately agreed on the meaning of the readout, but my bill later showed the added charge for analysis by some ethereal "interpretation" specter unseen during the entire procedure). I figure that if my doc orders an EKG he'd better darned well be ready to understand what it means. Kinda like an X-ray.
 
I am not used to getting good news, particularly when it comes to medical issues, so I steeled myself for the worst. Many years back I was blind-sided by a doctor who casually stated that I would never have use of my right arm again, following a dislocation and shoulder fracture. I almost fainted. Instead, I wound up building my huge garage, providing my own rehabilitation by swinging a 20 ounce hammer from morning til night. That doctor became chief administrator of the local hospital. Incompetence tends to rise to higher levels of responsibility. Just look at our outgoing president.
 
My doctor is totally unfamiliar with giving me good news, but quite adept at trashing my life with unexpected news of new, long-term and expensive medical conditions, so I began to sweat when I saw him struggling with appropriate words to presumably tell me I was not long in this world. I began deep breathing in hopes of avoiding the faintness I felt coming on. Instead, doc turned to me and stated simply that, possibly with the help of the drugs, my system self corrected from the atrial fibrillation! I almost fainted again. I quickly checked the wall calendar to make certain that this wasn't some evil April first joke. Final diagnosis: I was good to go to Texas, provided I checked in with doc's office regularly and had a local TX clinic monitor my prothrombin levels.
 

 
Mid December 2008....The Trip South
 

 
December 12, 2008....Packing
 
On the drive home from the doc's I switched on GeoTruk's Cobra CB-Weather radio and tuned to the nearest weather station. Severe ice storms mixed with snow were forecast for most of the state both that evening and for the next several days. I hurried home and desperately began tossing the stuff I'd need for the next three months into the back end of GeoTruk until it was full. It was only then that I realized I'd packed enough stuff for a 28-ft U-Haul. It was too late to prioritize items to load, since I was not disposed to unload that which had already been creatively stuffed in GeoTruk, so, whatever missed the first cut will remain in the hallway and kitchen and living room until my return. Since none of my boxes, giant Rubbermaid totes, miscellaneous suitcases and coolers were labelled as to contents, I knew I'd be surprised to discover just what I was to live with for three months upon unpacking.
 

 
December 13, 2008....N WI to Mendota, IL
 
The next day was a Saturday and it was early afternoon when I hastily departed my log home and headed south. State Route 51 to Wausau to Interstate 39 to the shared Interstate Routes 39-90-94 until 39 once again branches off on it's own. Geotruk's NOAA weather radio was forecasting a nasty, windy ice storm moving in from the northwest. I rode hard on GeoTruk's accelerator, making two gas stops and five pit stops, due mainly from a cooler/beverage experiment involving a variety of high energy, caffeine laced, sugar free drinks to keep a driver alert and awake. Basically I discovered that the energy drink formula was less significant than the size of my bladder. Getting out of your vehicle every so often to encounter freezing, blustery, sleety weather both to and from assorted rest areas most definitely will keep you awake and alert. It's harder than hell to drive with your legs crossed.
 
Driving in the on-demand four wheel drive mode, I got to a rest area just North of Mendota, Illinois when I realized that the roadway was getting increasingly icy slick since I almost fell on my ass trying to walk cross-legged from GeoTruk to the rest area facilities. I'd passed four or five accidents in Northern Illinois, and, by the time I got back to GeoTruk everything was icier and more dangerous. My timing was almost perfect since I was able to re-enter the Interstate just behind a plow-salt-sand state truck who was closely followed by an Illinois State Trooper. We all pulled over at the Mendota exit, and I eventually found a decent, reasonably priced motel that still had a few vacancies. My room was dead center in the middle of the motel, which was roughly the length of the football field. The outside doors were only at the front and the rear of the building, and my room took about 15 minutes to reach while one is dragging three heavy and awkward bags from vehicle to room.
 
I tried to get a good night's rest even though my dinner consisted of an dry Arby roast beef sandwich (they forgot to include the sauce packet) and a cold Big Mac (no fries and probably cooked 2 hours before). Haute cusine is not available in Mendota, but I was really looking forward to at least a Red Lobster meal. My expectations are not gourmet! After returning to the motel I noticed that the room directly across the hall from mine now sported a large "DO NOT ENTER" sign on the door and had numerous towels rolled up and wedged under the door from the hallway side. I began to speculate on just how long the body went undiscovered.
 
As tired as I felt from the continuous stress of driving on an Interstate skating rink, I didn't get a lot of sleep....I kept thinking about how delayed my trip was becoming. I'd always made the 1200 miles in two days regardless of weather, but my late start and totally dangerous road conditions had put me 5 hours behind my first day goal.
 

 
December 14, 2008....Mendota, IL to Joplin, MO
 
I was up at 6:15 the following morning, showered and tended to other bathroom needs just before the phone rang....it was a wake-up call that I never requested. I repacked my bags and decided to stroll down to the lobby to take in the touted "Continental Breakfast" offered by the establishment. There was only one other weary traveller in the dining area just off the lobby. I sauntered up to the serving counter only to discover that the economy was poor on the "Continent" as well. The Danish pastries had shrunk to the size of a 50-cent piece. There were plenty of packets of cereal but no milk to be found. Orange juice raised an eyebrow since it wasn't orange. And coffee was available from pump carafes, although the styrofoam cups were just about 2 inches tall and probably held all of 4 ounces of what they called coffee. A thick-browed middle-eastern individual had replaced the English-speaking hosts of the evening before and scowled if you attempted to take a second Danish, or, Buddha forbid, attempt to fill an insulated travel mug with coffee.
 
There seems to be a phenomenal increase in middle-eastern/Asian ownership of motels, and with this trend comes poorer service, less amenities and virtually no upkeep. It appears that Gee Dubya traded our technical support jobs in exchange for home-land travel squalor and the pollution spawned by excessive use of potent spices. Bugs abound, stains cover carpets, linens and bed covers, cracks crease ceilings and walls, hot water is tepid at best, nobody's cleaned the dusty and dirty air vents for years, 50 percent of the light fixtures have 25 watt bulbs (the rest are burned out) and the towels and washcloths can be used to sand down rust and bondo on your favorite restoration project, but tear your skin to shreds when you need to get washed and dried. TP is actually made from overruns from a wax-paper company...durable but impractical, and devastating if you attempt to use it to blow your nose since the tissue dispensers have been empty for the past eight years.
 
GeoTruk and I pulled out after a meager few crumbs of continental breakfast and headed for a senior cup of black java and a sausage, cheese and egg McGriddle at a McDonalds just down the road. Geotruk was thirsty so I pulled into a Conoco and filled up the tank. Salt trucks had been out overnight and the interstate was reasonably dry and clean in both lanes. By Bloomington, IL the roads were completely clear, and, once south of town and out of the rush-hour traffic I could again crank 'er up. I-39 eventually ends at I-55 at Bloomington.
 
I've travelled for years with a radar detector, a CB (this new one scans channels and has the entire NOAA weather bands), a TracFone cellphone with exterior antenna, and a Dell Inspiron 2650 laptop on a Jotto-Desk laptop mount. I've run a lot of GPS software packages and antennas. On this trip I was using DeLorme's Street Atlas 2009 software with a DeLorme LT-40 USB antenna. I program in my route well ahead of time, checking with the websites foot the various DOT's to plan around major construction if necessary. I also can program in my favorite stops ...Flying J truck stops using Conoco, Phillips or 76 gas (I have a Flying J discount card and a discount credit card for these gas brands) and Shell, special restaurants (if I pass by at the right time) and rest areas!!! I also carry two canisters of tactical quality pepper spray when I go into the rest areas.
 
Thus armed I cruised past Springfield, IL, took the I-255/I-270 eastern bypass around St. Louis, connecting up with I-44.
 
I-55 in Illinois and most of I-44 in Missouri run parallel to the old Route 66, the Mother Road, America's Main Street! When I was a kid our family would take a one week vacation each year, travelling from N. IL to N. TX to visit my Mom's family. My folks met back in the mid 40's when Mom was working as a civilian dental assistant at Shepard Army Air Base (now Shepard AFB) at the same time my Dad was stationed there in Wichita Falls, TX. After they married and Mom moved to IL, Dad was assigned to India. After the war and Dad's discharge, Dad kept a promise to Mom that she would visit her family at least once each year thereafter, and he kept his promise until his death in 1997.
 
In the early years we'd pick up Route 66 just south of Chicago, before the Dixie Diner Restaurant, and take it all the way to Oklahoma City, where Old 66 turned hard westerly. Newer I-44 continues south westerly toward Lawton, OK (Ft. Sill), crossing the Red River to Burkburnett, TX (the town that inspired the movie "Boomtown")
 
This time, however, I was cruising through the Missouri Ozarks, with it's magical hills and valleys. This is always a refreshing drive compared to the flat Illinois farm fields. Each time I travel this route I see bits and pieces of old Rt 66 either next to I-44 or winding through the hills in the distance. A lot of Historic Rt. 66 still exists and I hope to be able to take my time, get my kicks, and follow it again someday. Driving I-44 is like riding the monorail at Disneyworld, whereas old 66 was like the Magic Mountain roller coaster. Driving that old narrow two-lane through the Ozark Mountains at 60 mph was a white knuckle experience even for us kids.
 
Although the weather was decent most of the day, NOAA was warning that a severe ice storm was headed into southern Missouri and northern Oklahoma by evening, so, once again I was racing against the weather. I had hoped to get to Tulsa but it appeared that Joplin, MO was going to be as far as I could safely get.
 
Joplin Missouri offers a lot for the traveller, including a number of motels including a decent (read clean and inexpensive) Motel 6 as well as numerous restaurants of both the fast-food and home cooking persuasions. I chose the latter, finally getting my seafood fix. The night was balmy, the motel was huge, so it was a long walk to the ice machine and the coffee machine. A cup of decaf and a couple of drinks and I was ready to get a good night's rest. But, before I hit the sheets I heard the wind pick up and the sleet hit my motel room window.
 

 
December 15, 2008....Joplin, MO to Wichita Falls, TX
 
I awoke to hopes that I could make the last sprint through Oklahoma without much difficulty. But when I looked out my window I saw the so-called winter wonderland that I was getting to dread. Vehicles were covered with over 1/4 inch of ice which was topped with just as much snow. Since I was still in Missouri, where they have equipment to salt, sand and plow major roadways, I was happy that I could at least have 11 miles of decent driving. I forewent the continental breakfast, topping off my coffee mug instead and headed for the nearby Flying J. With GeoTruk topped off, I parked near the restaurant in the Flying J facility. I was in the mood for a decent breakfast, so I ordered strong coffee, two eggs over easy, hash browns, biscuits and gravy with a side of sausage links. It's been awhile since I stopped in a real truck stop restaurant, so I was amazed at the portions served! I was expecting Denny's and I wound up with Paul Bunyan's Lumberjack portions. The hash browns covered one plate, the biscuits (4) and gravy on another plate, with the eggs and 6 sausage links on the remaining plate. And, I was surrounded by long-haul truckers who were devouring breakfast steaks, toast, bushels of taters, dozens of eggs and the chickens that laid them.
 
The modern trucker now uses all the state-of-the-art equipment. In the restaurant the long-haul guys had BlueTooth earsets and were discussing real-time satellite internet in their rigs. But the conversations I overheard all concerned the hellish road conditions ahead in Oklahoma. Oklahoma, unlike Missouri, has little or no infrastructure for clearing ice or snow. The best attempt they've made was about six years ago when they spread crushed incinerator slag from coal-fired power plants on the roads, not realizing that coal slag is effectively ball-bearings when spread on a roadway. And, when a thaw does occur, they had millions of projectiles that took out windshields, paint jobs and radiators. Okies have provided us with Will Rogers and a few great musicians, but then gave up on intelligent matters, they being too difficult to deal with.
 
I waddled up to the checkout counter, having covered the parts of my meal I couldn't finish with a paper knapkin, paid a paltry sum for the huge meal and left a sizeable trip. Since Oklahoma's I-44 is 90% toll roads leading to and from Tulsa and Oklahoma City, and the tollroad authority refuses to spend a dime on maintenance (they hire companies to put up barriers amd warning signs and barrels to reduce the turnpike to one lane eacg year, but then they run out of budgeted funds for road improvement, so the companies pick up their dividers and barrels and signs and wait for next year. Sure enough, I-44 turned into a disaster area. Oklahoma's I-44 was down to one lane both north and south bound and 50% of that was sheet ice. I passed three wrecks, all 2wd pickups towing trailers. At 11 miles, one overturned tractor trailer combo had been hit by another tractor trailer and blocked the northbound lanes for 5 miles miles back. Southbound, I had little trouble in 4WD since most others had already slid off the road, However, 30 mph was top speed until the snow and ice began to wane.
 
Half way between Tulsa and Oklahoma City the roads dried up and travel speeds kicked back up except for the stupid speed reductions while passing through the Ft. Sill territory...seems that they don't like anything that moves faster than horses pulling light infantry cannons.
 
I happily arrived at my Mom's mid afternoon having driven some of the worst weather I've ever experienced. But I was happy to finally pull into my mother's drive.
 
I wasn't quite prepared for what came next....
 

 
Please drop by soon for the next episode...

 
Until later.....DKHT